Some Small Summer Snippets

Yikes! Has it really been an entire month since I last recorded anything on this blog? Apparently the part of me that wished to stay away from the computer all summer has been winning over the part of me that wanted to record everything. In any case, since I'm so far behind, I've decided to post some pictures of what our summer has been like so far in hopes that some day these pictures will spark memories, even though there are few words to describe our happenings.

Hallee went on Trek this year. Isn't she a beautiful pioneer woman? I was proud of her. Temperatures were over 100 degrees but she came home telling us what a good experience it was. Man alive, I missed her while she was gone!

When Regyn gets bored, watch out! One day she asked me if she could give Boston a makeover. I told her yes, and this is what she came up with. I laugh every time I see it. Those eyebrows just crack me up!

Regyn also came up with an idea to "sell" free water. I was desperate for her to find something to do so I agreed. The next thing I knew, she came in with money. Surprised, I questioned her, wondering how she got money if the water was free. "Oh," she said, "the water is free, but this money is from tips!" That is one clever girl, let me tell you!

Yet another "nose job" for me. Still trying to reconstruct my nose from the skin cancer I had a couple of years ago. I've decided plastic surgery is not for me!

Nate's baseball team won the state championship this year, finally beating a team that had beat them all year long. It was a sweet victory!

This group of boys is so darn cute! Great kids and really great coaches. I sure appreciate good coaches. They teach kids so much more than just how to play the game. It's what I love about sports.

My favorite Dawgs player. Man, I love this kid!

An afternoon at the Kaysville Splash Park. I love seeing my kids smile. It's medicine to my soul.

I especially love it when my children are enjoying life together. Nothing greater.

Hallee and Nate have woken up early two days a week to do SPARQ training, a Nike sports training geared to help them improve their speed, power, agility, reaction and quickness. These pictures are of the jump training they did one day. It's fun to see their progress.

Our wonderful upstairs neighbors, the Wardens, throw a big birthday party for their oldest son every summer. Last year they rented a dunking machine. This year it was this huge water slide. It was seriously as big as my house!

The kids sure had a blast playing on it, though. 

Hallee and Berkley just watched from the sidelines. I never dreamed my 13-year-old could be such great friends with my two-year-old, but they sure love each other. 

There's nothing my kids love more than to have cousins visit and sleep over. This is what our living room looks like when the cousins come. These kids came for swim lessons, and we loved having them!

Speaking of swim lessons, here is my little niece, Olivia, learning the back float. She was hilarious, begging to go back on the cement with her mother during her entire lesson each day. Then, she came out of the pool one day, after acting miserable the whole time, and said, "Did I have fun or what?" We will laugh about that for a while.

Speaking of Olivia, here is the makeover she received from Regyn. I love it!

One more picture of it, just because it's so . . . unique! LOL

At the Splash Park with cousins, Michael and Kaden

Berkley wasn't sure about the whole swimming thing.

Regyn and two of her best friends/cousins--Mylee and Mireya

We've had lots of fun with cousins this summer. I feel that is such a great blessing--cousins that are best friends, too.

Hallee played in an outdoor doubles tournament with one of her dear friends, Suzanne Katoa. It was definitely a change from indoor volleyball, but they had a great time, and they won second place in their division, which scored them $20 gift cards to WalMart. Can't beat that!

Don't they look intense? Wish I had better pictures, but I got too busy watching and forgot to snap some.

Here is a picture of Berkley riding her little motor scooter. She cracks me up on that thing! She looks so big!

Love that little smile.

Had to post this view because it's so funny to me what this girl wears--in her panties and boots. And she insisted on wearing that jacket, even though it was over 100 degrees outside.

Here is a picture of Nate after pulling weeds for a neighbor for three hours. It's hard to see all the dirt and grime on him from this picture, but I told him he would be glad to have a picture of him working to show his children some day.

Most people did something fun and relaxing for July 24th--not us! Dan was in charge and decided we were going to go to the track and have a little family fitness competition. Here they are seeing how many sit-ups they can do in one minute. Even Berkley got involved. I was the score keeper/timer/photographer since I have had too many sports injures to participate much. 

Dan, Hallee and Nate ran a 300 meter dash, but Regyn and Boston only ran 100 meters. They did great!

Here is the push-up competition. Hallee did NOT win this one:)

Lastly, they were going to run the mile. Only Dan made it the whole way. The other kids cheated a bit. I was still proud of them for their great attitudes and participation. It was a memorable 24th.

Summer life is definitely a change from the other nine months of the year when the kids are in school and schedules are a must. Summer holds it's own share of challenges, like how to keep 5 kids busy so I don't go crazy listening to them whine and complain about being bored and hungry all day long. Some days are wonderful; some are hardly bearable. But all in all, life is good and I am grateful every day for five kids that call me "Mother" and a husband who puts up with me.

Even on really hard days, I go to bed and ask myself this question, "Could life really be any better?" And the answer is always the same. . .

Nope!

Back to the Basics for Summer

I have found myself ignoring my blog every year when summer comes around. It's not that I have nothing to record; quite the opposite is true (I have tons to record!), which is why I feel such angst about not getting to the computer to write. I desperately want to note activities, events, moments and feelings about our lives during the summer; but, on the other hand, I also crave the freedom to do nothing but spend time with my kids, being a slave to no other responsibilities, people or objects, including the computer. I'm never quite sure how to handle this contradictory pull on my time and heart. If only my thoughts could automatically appear as words on a screen, without the effort to boot up the computer and type it all. . .

Anyway, I have spent the past month deep in thought about my role as a mother in my home. Truthfully, I've regularly fought feelings of discouragement and self-loathing about the kind of mother I have been the past few months. Two surgeries in six weeks time definitely took a toll on my energy level and ability to function at high rates, but even so, I have just felt that somehow my focus was not lazer-like in any sense of the word and that I was not giving my best to my family.

If there is one thing I have learned over the past 13 years, it's that it's nearly impossible for me to stay at the top of my game all the time; after all, I am human and full of all sorts of weaknesses. And then there is simply that thing we call "life" that throws curve balls and makes life more difficult at times. So, I try to use wisdom in assessing myself in regards to motherhood, taking everything into consideration, realizing that my best looks different at varying times, depending on life situations. Still, it never feels good to me when I am not connecting with my husband and children in meaningful ways, when I am simply going through the motions and not really focusing my energy on the meat of what matters. And so, I have decided to get back to the basics. To simply let everything else go and focus on the small, significant things like hugs, sincere praise, time with each one, listening with my eyes, ears and heart, expressing love over and over, expressing patience constantly, etc.

And I've blocked out all the sounds around me to simply be in the moment with Dan and my kids, and it has awakened me to a sense of what a joy it is to be a mother to my kids, a wife to my amazing husband; at what a blessed life I have; of what a huge, amazing responsibility lies on my shoulders to lead and nurture and love these kids of mine into becoming all the Lord intended them to be. It's been overwhelming, humbling and motivating all at once. I know it won't happen this week or this month or even this year, but it is the consistent, daily effort of a lifetime. And lately, that has seemed too short a time as I see my children growing up right before my eyes and I fear they will be gone before I've taught them everything that seems important, experienced everything with them my heart desires, and shared my love and admiration of them in enough times and ways to know they are certain of it and will never doubt or forget it. It is overwhelming to think of all that lies ahead and how quickly it will pass, so instead, I choose to love today and to live it the fullest way I know how.

Three weeks ago I found myself in the backseat of our car, driving home from an AAU West Coast Championship volleyball tournament with Hallee and Dan. I opted to sit in the back since my knee was throbbing from being cramped in the front seat. I closed my eyes in an effort to rest, but instead I found myself eavesdropping on the conversation taking place in front of me. It all started when Dan asked Hallee, "Do you know what HOV stands for?" I had to laugh to myself at this futile attempt to make conversation with our 13-year-old. Is that the best he could come up with, I sneered inside. But, as usual, Dan would prove me to be a fool, because Hallee actually took the bait, and thus ensued a fascinating, enlightening conversation between father and daughter, and I felt privileged to be listening in.

(Pictures of the tournament. Our team ended up 5th overall. It was such a great end to a very successful club season.)

Hallee's first attempts at accurately stating what the acronym means were quite hilarious, if only I could remember them all. I expected Dan to simply tell her the answer, but he is so much more patient than I am. He finally led her to figuring it out on her own, and then the conversation turned to other seemingly meaningless questions they tried to find the answers to. My favorite was when Hallee asked why certain things had to be so expensive. Her idea was that everything should cost $10. Dan pointed out the error in her thinking by asking, "What if you owned a car dealership? How would you stay in business if you sold cars for only $10?" I chuckled when Hallee's reply was, "Then you better sell candybars, too!" It's such a rare and priceless thing to enter the thought processes of children!

As I sat in the back seat and just listened--really listened--to my husband bond with our teenage daughter, my heart was full. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I realized for the bazillionth time how much I love these two amazing people in my life. Dan, with his wisdom and patience and utter goodness; and Hallee with her innocence and optimism and sweetness. I soaked it up for hours until we pulled into the driveway at home, and I made it to my room to fall on my knees and thank God for such priceless gifts in my life.

This led to the next week in Bear Lake at the Nate Family Reunion. I was in charge this year, a responsibility I am glad to say will not be mine again for five more years. My whole family got together at a cabin in Garden City and had a wonderful time. I never ceased to be amazed at the love the cousins have for each other. They are best friends, and it warms my heart completely. Then, to be with my siblings and their spouses and with my parents for a few days, away from all other responsibilities, was definitely a treat. The highlight for me, though, was gathering everyone around to read through some "Get to Know You Better" questionnaires I had asked everyone (5 years old and up) to answer and hand in before the reunion. I would read through the questions and answers and everyone would try to guess who it was. Although we are a close-knit family, we learned some valuable and fun information about each other, and it bonded us in valuable ways. My heart felt so full.

Boston climbing up the log pillars. This cabin was rustic and fun.

Kaybree, Martin and Mireya all ready to tie-dye their shirts.

We tie-dyed t-shirts. Had no idea what we were doing, but it was fun.

 I got this idea to take some picture frames up there and let people use them to take some fun pictures. They turned out great!

Regyn and Mylee

Kyson, Olivia, Mireya and Boston. Are these cute little cousins or what?

Michael, Hallee, Kaybree. Gotta love Michael's silly face!

Berkley really got into it.

My five kids. Man alive, I love these crazy kids!!

Dan and I tried it, too. Not as cute as the kids, but just let me say, I love this man!

Regyn doing handsprings into the pool.

Berkley did everything I did. It was so funny.

Nate, Hallee and Jasmine. 

These three 2-year-olds are only weeks apart in age. They are so adorable together!  (Brylee, Makyla and Berkley)

These two are especially good friends. 

Brylee was loving this, as you can see:)

These darling girls got all tuckered out (Mylee, Regyn, Kaybree and Kamille)

I even got these two girls being silly (Halle and Jasmine). Isn't the lake beautiful in the background?

These smiles are priceless!

We rented these bikes and had the best time! It was great exercise.

Makyla and Berkley on the front of the bikes. Berkley was all about that ice cream cone!

From there Hallee and Regyn and I traveled to Green River, Wyoming to coach and participate in a volleyball camp there. How I loved the time with my girls! Regyn is only eight, but she is spunky and competitive and all kinds of fun. I enjoyed watching her try to do the difficult skills we were teaching and trying to win the drills. Hallee actually helped coach the camp this year, and it was incredibly rewarding for me to see her pass on her volleyball knowledge and skills to younger girls. It seems like just a blink ago she was one of those little 8-year-olds, just learning to play.

After four days there, I was so homesick for our family to be all together again. I longed to hold all my children in my arms and tell them how much I love them. I longed to hug Dan and tell him how much I appreciate all he does for our family. I guess it's true that "distance makes the heart grow fonder." I must say I prefer to grow a fonder heart right at home, however, and realized again how much I appreciate being a mother who is home. I truly love home!

I wish I could remember each meaningful moment over the past few weeks, for there have been many. I wish I could recall every funny, clever thing my children have said, because there has been a lot. But darn it, they fade so easily and my mind loses words so quickly that I cannot write them now. All I know is that when I take a step back from all the demands of life to listen and see and feel all that is mine, I feel blessed beyond belief.

Now back to my agenda for the day: building a fort with my kids, watching Hallee participate in a volleyball camp, dropping Nate off at baseball practice, taking two sick kids to the doctor, going on a bike ride with Boston, Regyn and Berkley, exercising with Dan, listening to two of our children teach us an important gospel principle in Family Home Evening, snuggling in bed with my kids for a while to read a chapter  in our family read this summer, dropping into bed happy and grateful for the simple pleasures of family life.

Nothing fancy, but incredibly fulfilling. It's the life I always dreamed of, and I don't want to take it for granted. I may not always be the type of mother I think I should be, but I feel hopeful that if I can just do the basic, most important things every day--loving, laughing, listening, building, appreciating the moment--there will be fewer regrets. And that, to me, seems awfully good.

Berkley--2

It is so hard for me to believe my little 4 lb, 13 oz miracle baby is now two years old! I mean, seriously, where have the last two years gone?

It's been a blur, let me tell you. All I can say is that since this child entered our home and our family, our lives have never been the same! She breathes happiness and delight into our very core, and we couldn't imagine our family without her.

Sometimes, when I take a minute to really ponder the absolute wonder of it all--how Berkley became a part of our family--it humbles me and fills me with a deep sense of gratitude for the immense goodness of God and his desire to bless our lives, for I am certain this child was part of our family long before we ever existed here. In fact, she fits in so naturally, I forget she was adopted at all. If it wasn't for her wild afro curls and her chocolate brown skin, I would have a hard time being convinced I didn't give birth to this beautiful little girl. She has felt such a natural part of our family and our world, and I will never forget the first time I saw her and held her in my arms and realized she was familiar to me.

And now she is two years old! And a very active, strong-willed, spirited little girl, let me tell you. She keeps us all on our toes. She loves to climb and jump on the tramp and sing and dance. She loves eating chips and popcorn and cookies and anything else that isn't good for her. She has the most wonderful hug on the planet--with both arms clasped tightly around your neck in the sweetest squeeze. She is especially crazy about four kids--her siblings--who would move the world for her if she asked them to. She is a tease and a flirt and a handful, and I'm so, so profoundly grateful she is mine.

Here are a few birthday pictures. She didn't understand what it was all about, but she sure enjoyed the attention, the balloons, the cake and the gifts.

We went to the park as a family recently and snapped these photos of Berkley. I am so glad I thought to throw this little bench in our car (I really hoped to get some shots of her since she had just turned 2) because she loved sitting on it and "posing" for the pictures. To me, she is one of the most beautiful creatures ever!

I will forever be grateful to Berkley's birth mother who made the decision to give her up so she could have a complete family. And I will never be able to thank God enough for the inspiration, the courage, the faith He blessed Dan and I with to adopt. It was definitely one of the most difficult decisions we have ever made as a married couple--one that took the utmost faith--but it was also one of the most rewarding decisions we've ever made together as well, for this little girl is one of our choicest blessings!

The Writing on the Wall

You just never know when something very ordinary (like some foam bath letters) can turn into something kinda great. Who would have ever guessed when we gave Berkley some foam letters for the bathtub for Christmas this past year that the rest of our family would end up enjoying this gift more than Berkley? I mean, seriously, we are talking about some silly foam letters.

I'm not sure when or how it started, but one day I got in the shower and found this one the shower wall:

Wow! That's about all I could say. I had no idea who had posted it or why, but I have to say, it made me smile all day. I mean, who doesn't want to be "1 Hot Mom?" I asked everyone in the family who left me such a fabulous message, but no one would fess up to it. I must have made a big enough deal about it to arouse interest, however, because pretty soon I was getting notes on a regular basis.

I'm not going to lie--I was loving this new practice in our home! I found myself looking forward to my shower just to see if there happened to be another fabulous message on the wall, saying how wonderful I was!

Then one day, it occurred to me that maybe I should return the favor and allow someone else(or a few someone elses) to feel fabulous for a change (I know, I should have figured this out sooner--I guess I was enjoying the praise a little too much:). So I wrote this:

The kids loved this, of course, and so they wrote back:

I know this sounds utterly ridiculous, but these messages did so much for me! I mean, life tends to kick the air right out of a person on a pretty regular basis. And let's face it, motherhood can be especially grueling at times, so it just felt so good to hear (or in this case, see) some positive reinforcement from my kids. Not that they don't get frustrated with me regularly and roll their eyes at me and tell me all the things I'm doing wrong, BUT at the end of the day, I think they really have tender, loving feelings toward me, and I am so grateful for that.

Here are a couple more messages I happen to love (you must keep in mind that when spelling with only   alphabet letters--one each--and the numbers 1-10, the spelling has to get creative sometimes:)

I'm not sure what "Amazingo" is exactly, but I'll take it!

So, I was enjoying this little banter back and forth with my kids so much I could hardly stand it, until one day I was showering away with a huge smile on my face and another revelation occurred to me: maybe my husband would like to be included (duh)! So, I thought and thought about what meaningful thing I could put on the shower wall that would tell my husband how much I loved him. To simply write, "I love you, Dan" or something was too obvious. No, it had to be something better. Finally I had an idea, and I have to say, I was pretty proud of what I came up with:

Sometimes the notes were just thoughtful little messages like this one that Hallee left before Dan and I went on a baseball trip with Nate to St. George:

I had to respond, of course:

Then, after my surgery, I found this sweet little message on the wall:

So simple, but man alive, it meant a lot to me. I have noticed my children starting to pray for each other and for me, and it just touches my heart so deeply. This was almost as great.

Here's what I wrote back:

Sometimes, the letters were even used to apologize:

I love it! Who would ever believe that a family could come up with a way to write some of the sweetest, most loving sentiments of their hearts to each other using something as silly and simple as foam bath letters?

The last message I wrote was just a few days ago, and it said this:

Although my kids are far from perfect and they drive me absolutely crazy at times, I truly feel they are awesome kids, and man alive, I am grateful they are mine! Mostly, I am grateful for family life--the little moments of joy, the satisfaction of growth, the tiny perks that make life so good.

And let me just end by saying, if you need a little way to spice things up a bit in your home and start some positive communication with each other, I have the best idea--foam bath letters!