Who You Are

Ever wonder if you're doing it right?

I guess by "it" I mean everything you are committed to--being a mother, being a wife, being a coach or a neighbor or an employee, or whatever else you may be. There's no doubt "it" can be so overwhelming it seems impossible to really excel at. I guess in reality, "it" is simply life. And so I wonder, am I doing life right?

If there is anything being named Utah's Young Mother of the Year has done, it has made me more aware of my mistakes and weaknesses as a mother. Maybe it's because I'm afraid my life is under more scrutiny now; maybe it's because I know I have a lot to live up to; maybe it's simply because I never want to be a hypocrite--encouraging mothers to be something I'm not being myself. Whatever the reason, I have definitely spent more time in introspection, wondering deeply if I am doing enough and being enough.

I think being aware of weaknesses can definitely be a good thing. It can bring humility and earnest striving to be better. But I also know for many, me included, it can also be a source of discouragement. The thing is, I know discouragement doesn't come from God. He may prompt me to change, show me a better way, and plant seeds of desire in my heart for me to understand my true potential and strive for it, but he doesn't prompt feelings of failure or doubt or uncertainty. So, if God's true desire for women is to feel capable and worthy and valued and loved, why do we as mothers so often feel the opposite?

Maybe one disadvantage to blogging is that we tend to record the good and silently deal with the bad and the ugly. And I think that's a good thing overall, but I promised myself when I began writing about motherhood that I would be honest. That I would be real. And so, today, as tears fall on my computer keys, I will tell you, that no matter how things look outwardly, the truth is, I feel so inadequate.

I am no one special. I can look at the women all around me and see so much that is great and fabulous and incredible, while I stumble over the simplest things. I long for peace but my heart only seems to feel unrest. I want to be so much more than I am, but something--maybe lots of somethings--hold me back. Why is that?

Maybe it's because, without even realizing it, I've begun to listen too much to what the world thinks of me, and not enough to what God thinks. Today, while in the shower, I stuck a new CD in, Woman of Destiny, hoping to find some vision and some clarity. I listened to the uplifting words in the songs and before I knew it, I was wracked with sobs. Not because I was sad, but because I remembered something I had forgotten momentarily--that God knows me and loves me, and He sees me so much differently than I see myself. He knows my weaknesses, but He also knows my strengths and He knows what I can become, and so He believes in me. He's not constantly disgusted with me, as I sometimes envision He must be; instead, He's filled with deep love and respect--and even admiration at times--for my willingness to be a mother at this time in the world and my desire and effort to do the best I can.

And so, for anyone who feels like they are not enough, who feels lonely and inadequate, listen to the words of this song and remember Who You Are. (even better, watch and listen: It's by Hilary Weeks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2saTjwg7_g )

I know you wonder if you'll ever have a day
When the kids stay calm, the laundry's done, and the dishes are put away
And sometimes you feel like your days are spent and gone
And the question running through your mind is what have I gotten done?
And when you finally have a moment to slow down
At the end of your day
I know Father would say

Believe in what you're doing.
Believe in who you are.
Hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you're becoming
Believe in who you are.

It may seem simple--all the little things you do
But the lives you touch matter so much
And there's no one else like you.
And Father needs you to stand tall and faithful
To be all you can be
Oh, if you could see what He sees you'd

Believe in what you're doing.
Believe in who you are.
Hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you're becoming
Believe in who you are.

When it's hard to believe in yourself
And you feel like you're beginning to doubt
Remember . . .

He believes in what you're doing
He believes in who you are
Don't lose sight of the truth that you're a daughter of God
That He believes in who you're becoming
He believes in who you are.

If God believes in me, how can I doubt? If He knows I can do this and do it well, well . . .

I believe it, too.

So today, when I feel the desire to be so much more, I'm grateful to remember that to God, I am enough. And so my tears of sorrow are now tears of gratitude for the knowledge of who I am. And even though I know I will still make mistakes and do "it" wrong sometimes, it's OK. I know God believes in what I'm doing. And so I will, too.

My Most Important Function

As part of the portfolio I was asked to complete for my nomination as Young Mother of the Year, I was asked the following question:

On a daily basis, what do you feel is your most important function?

What a great question! I pondered it deeply before I wrote the following response:

My most important function each day is this: to help my children know of my love and God’s love for each one of them, and to help them develop daily habits that will lead to righteous decisions so they can reach their fullest potential, for I truly believe that decisions determine destiny. There are many nights I go to bed with the realization that I did not get the house work, laundry, or other tasks done that seem important to daily living. It’s easy to feel discouraged or guilty. But then, I remember that I read scriptures and prayed with my children that day, and I told them I loved them many times and hugged them and kissed them and I listened to them. That’s when I know my day was a success—because I did the most important things.

I truly believe the way to teach is by example. It’s easy to nag my children about what they should and should not be doing every day, but I know my actions speak louder than words. Thus, I begin each day by personal scripture study and prayer. Our faith is the foundation of our lives, so if I expect and hope my children to develop their own faith and depth of character, I must show them the way. Of course, I make mistakes, and of course I am imperfect, but they see my daily effort, and I have to believe it’s making a difference.

We live in a world of shifting values and great uncertainty. It’s a time when our children are faced with important decisions nearly every day, even from the time they are young. They must know who they are as children of God, have a strong sense of belonging and self worth, and know that no matter what happens out in the world, they will always come home to parents who love them, forgive them and want to do all they can to help them. So, it is my responsibility every day as a mother to help my children gain this sure knowledge—one day, one example, one moment at a time. Such is each new day’s quest.

Since I wrote that response, I have thought even more deeply about the question and have analyzed just how well I am actually following through with that task each day. After all, it's easy to say I believe these things to be what is most important each day, but actually "practicing what I preach" is really the challenge. Our family happens to be right in the middle of our busiest time of year: tax season (my husband is a tax accountant), club volleyball, comp baseball, preschool, and much more. It has not been easy to balance everything on a weekly and daily basis without losing sight of what matters most.

Finally, last week as I was driving home from St. George where my son had played in a baseball tournament, I had some time to really think. I was feeling an urgency to rush back to a volleyball tournament in Salt Lake my daughter was playing in (I just happen to be one of the coaches and felt doubly responsible to get there as quickly as I could), and the questions came to mind, Am I doing this right? Am I living what I really believe? I truly think that one of our greatest challenges at this time in the history of the world is just plain busyness. It keeps us from feeling grounded and at peace, and it keeps us from taking care of our most important functions each day if we are not careful.

I offered a silent prayer as I drove, asking God to help me remember each day what really matters and to not get sidetracked, promising I would work harder to sift through each day's demands and make sure my most important function preceded all else. Prayers like that often are followed closely by a test. And so, this morning, it came. A phone call to substitute teach at the elementary school. Something I love to do, something I need to do to keep certified, something that forces me to drop my children off to someone else for the day. I told the caller I would try to find someone to take my kids so I could teach, but then I hung up the phone and I looked at my five-year-old, who was trying desperately to get his laundry put away so we could spend time together we had planned, and I knew in that moment what I had to do. I had to say no so I could perform my most important function today--letting my child know he was more important, following through with my promises to him.

It was not easy calling back and declining the offer because I wanted to help this person out. I even felt a tinge of guilt for not doing so, knowing it can be difficult to find a last-minute substitute. But when the phone call ended, and I grabbed my little guy's hand to go play a game with him, the feeling that overrode it all was . . . peace. And gratitude that I can choose.

Today, my most important function was staying home. Tomorrow it might be something else. But whatever each new day brings, it will always be to put my family first, to show my children and husband in every way possible that they are what matter most. If I can somehow do this, then I hope and believe I can look back someday with no regrets. And that is my goal.

What I Find Most Fulfilling in Family Life as a Young Mother

When I was a young girl and dreamed about becoming a mother one day, I knew it would not be an easy job. I watched my own mother struggle through sleepless nights, potty training, piles of laundry, and lots more, so I assumed it wasn’t always a picnic; what I didn’t know or even begin to understand was how fulfilling it would be, despite all the challenges.

For me, the best part about motherhood is seeing the personal growth of each of my children. Nothing is more rewarding than watching a child master something he/she once thought difficult or impossible, or helping him/her reach a personal goal, or seeing him/her gain the skills necessary to overcome challenges. I love watching my children problem-solve. I love seeing the excitement in their eyes when they learn something new or grow another inch or lose another tooth. Mostly, I find it extremely fulfilling to be a part of helping these amazing spirits become who they were always meant to be, to help them find the best that’s within themselves, to see them reach their potential. The amazing part is I find myself growing right along with them. Motherhood has stretched and challenged me in ways that have required me to become someone better, to reach within myself and be more than I previously was. How fulfilling that growth is!

I’ve also learned to enjoy the little things: one-on-one time with each child, arms around my neck, smiles, wet kisses, eating dinner together, spontaneous laughter, snuggle time, and so much more. Life can get so hectic and demanding it’s easy to miss the best parts. I never want to look back and wish I would have soaked it up better or appreciated it more, so I try to notice and enjoy all the little moments with my children that add up to happiness. In the end, I find there are tons of such moments. Even on the most difficult days, I can find moments to treasure. These small, seemingly insignificant moments are what truly make motherhood fulfilling.

Ice skating together--cold but memorable

Motherhood--How can I help?

Having spent the last four days on the couch or in bed with a pillow over my head due to a migraine, I am definitely feeling a bit behind now that I am back at life. I am certainly learning to not take good health for granted. For a healthy, athletic woman (something I always kind of considered myself to be), I have had numerous surgeries and phases of poor health. It has definitely made me appreciate times I feel well and can function normally. Yes, I'm even grateful to be able to do dishes and laundry again--something I never thought I'd say:)

I just returned home from a board meeting for American Mothers. As I sat around the table, listening to this amazing group of women discuss upcoming events and responsibilities, I found myself amazed at their willingness to serve. None of them receive any compensation for their time and efforts. Most are extremely busy already between church callings and family and civic responsibilities (one is even running for a seat in the House of Representatives). Yet, each woman there feels motherhood is something that needs support and recognition and that the American Mothers Association is a worthwhile organization that promotes all they believe in. It was awe-inspiring.

I was asked to say a few words, which I wasn't expecting. I shared a few thoughts, but as usual, I thought about what I really wanted to say on the drive home. So, here it is.

I have been blessed in my life to have a keen awareness of the privilege and sanctity of motherhood. Through various experiences, I have been tutored and patiently taught how sacred and eternal and vital my role as a mother truly is. That is why I write about it, why I blog about it, why I talk about it, why I feel a responsibility to share what I am learning with other mothers in an effort to uplift and strengthen and validate each one of them in their journey as mothers. Everyone's homes are different; everyone's children are different; everyone's backgrounds are different, but in one thing we are all the same. We all hope and work and pray to be successful mothers. It is the burning desire of our hearts. We love our children with the deepest kind of love and want to lead them and help them along this journey of life and become the best that's within them. And we all need support and guidance as we do this vital of all jobs. That's what American Mothers is all about. It provides that much-needed support system that stands for important values, that sustains and uplifts the role of motherhood. That's what I have gleamed from it for the many years I have been associated with it. And it's what I would hope for every mother to find and use in their lives. Besides my faith and the church I belong to, there is nothing I would be more honored and privileged to represent than motherhood and the American Mothers Association. That is why I am grateful and humbled and excited for the opportunity that is mine this year as the Utah Young Mother of the Year.

So, in saying all of this, the biggest question that has been weighing on my mind is this: How can I help? How can I be the most useful? How can I best join with other mothers in supporting and uplifting them in the cause of motherhood? I am so willing to help start new chapters in American Mothers, to speak to groups about motherhood or related topics, to be a sounding board to women everywhere. I'm just not sure the best way to go about it. So, I'm hoping for some response here. If you read this, please give me your input, whoever you are, wherever you are. What are your needs? What could benefit you? What are you looking for that could help you on your journey as a mother? I certainly don't have all the answers but I'm willing to help find them, or at least be a listening ear.

Here are some ideas I've thought of:
1-Posting a parenting question on my blog at least once a month and allowing everyone who wants to to respond. Then, I would respond as well and maybe we could all learn from one another.

2-Having a monthly webinar. Truthfully, I've never done a webinar before but I am willing to learn if there is enough interest. Again, we could have a monthly topic to discuss or a question and answer period.

3- If you have any interest at all in starting a chapter of American Mothers, please don't hesitate to contact me. I have done that and will help in any/every way possible. This organization is worthwhile. It can bless your life and the lives of your friends and neighbors as well. I know everyone is busy but if done right, it is worth it to everyone who participates. Let me help you become involved.

4-Give me your ideas as well. I am here for you.

Thank you for reading my blog, for commenting, for being faithful mothers who work in the trenches every day with no thought of reward or recognition. Together, we can do this!

A Day on Capitol Hill



I'm still in awe at the amazing experience our family had yesterday as we went to Capitol Hill. One of the wonderful opportunities made available to nominees and finalists for Mother of the Year and Young Mother of the Year is to spend a day at the Capitol Building. As the Young Mother of the Year for 2012, I, along with this year's Mother of the Year, Cynthia Richards, was introduced before the House of Representatives. I personally had never been inside the Capitol Building, so I was amazed at the hustle and bustle happening all throughout the place.We were quickly ushered in, introduced, given a standing ovation, then ushered out again before we could even have time to absorb the experience.

Mother Honoress in front of the Senate

After visiting the House of Representatives, we were then introduced in front of the Senate. This was such an amazing experience as they took the time to read an "Official Citation" about both of us, we were able to meet the Senators for our district and were presented with pins. The other nominees for Mother of the Year and Young Mother of the Year were also recognized--wonderful women who truly embody what motherhood is all about. Cynthia and I were then asked to say a few words in front of the Senate. Being the small Wyoming town girl that I am, this was definitely a new experience for me, one that was meaningful and memorable.

One of the best parts about the day was that we were able to bring our children along. I was definitely worried about how my five children would handle three hours in their Sunday best clothing, moving from one appointment to another, being expected to behave with graciousness and manners, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity for them to experience such a memorable day. Everything actually went quite well overall until we passed the three hour mark. By then, we were in the "Gold Room" meeting with Governor Herbert. It was a wonderful experience! He shook each of my children's hands and asked them their names. His personal photographer captured each moment, and they are pictures I will always treasure.

Governor Herbert shaking my five-year-old's hand

President Hebert was awarded a special gift honoring his late mother. He unexpectedly took time to tell us a bit about his mother and what she meant to him in his life. It was very personal and touching as tears rolled down his cheeks and he was caught with immense emotion at times. I felt it such a privilege to be with him. He honored mothers all over the state of Utah and talked about the immense gratitude he has personally for mothers and the importance of the role of motherhood in making Utah great. At one point, he humbly said something I wish I could remember word for word. It went something like this: "Although you mothers may never make the headlines in the newspaper, I want you to know that this Governor on Capitol Hill understands the sacrifices and contributions you make to society and the state of Utah." It was a powerful, poignant moment, and my appreciation for this man grew greatly.

Governor Herbert accepting gift in honor of his mother

It was about at this moment that I realized my little flock of children were losing their edge. My mother-in-law's phone started playing a Lady Antebellum song that my children accidentally started. And then, my five-year-old lay down on the carpet and started making snow angels, only a few feet from Governor Herbert's feet. That's when I knew it was time for the experience to end! I quietly gathered him in my arms and we thankfully made it through the last few moments before my husband and I whisked them away to be taken home.

Following the events at the Capitol Building, we were privileged to go to the Governor's Mansion for High Tea. There, we were all honored with roses and plaques. Then we listened as Mrs. Herbert gave an inspiring speech on strengthening families through her Uplift Utah Families initiative. It was a wonderful, memorable, exhausting day. I left feeling gratitude for the American Mother's organization and all it stands for. I felt grateful for my years of involvement and how it had blessed my life by uplifting me in the cause of motherhood and helping me understand the importance of my calling as a mother. And I felt grateful for the amazing responsibility and privilege of being this year's Young Mother of the Year and being able to be a voice for motherhood and work to uplift and help all mothers throughout the state of Utah understand how important and loved they are and how vital they are to Utah and to this country and to the world.

Being honored with First Lady Herbert at Governor's Mansion

Strong mothers definitely strengthen families. And strong families definitely strengthen our state and our nation.

Me with Governor Herbert and Cynthia Richards (2012 Utah Mother of the Year)

"Quality Time" With My Kids

Have you ever started the day with good intentions, but by the end of the evening you're frustrated, deflated and ready to pout? I think I'm the queen of such days. For example . . .

Feeling a desire to spend some quality time with each of my children yesterday, I made a point to specifically seek each one out. Since I had already spent the early afternoon with my five-year-old, I decided to start with my 12-year-old daughter. She arrived home from school, and as usual, retired to her bedroom to pick up her ipod. Not so fast, I thought. I plopped down on her bed with her and told her we should spend some time together. She agreed and put down the ipod. But what to do? After some small talk, I suggested we go to the piano and sit down and play and sing together (note: I do not play the piano or sing well, but I was trying to be creative). She was not interested. After some coaxing, we both pulled ourselves off the bed and headed to the office. I sat down and began trying to pluck out a tune to a song I'm hoping to learn. She sunk into the office chair and pulled her ipod back out. I tried to get her to come join me on the piano bench. Not going to happen. Finally, in desperation I said, "Are you going to spend time with me or am I just going to have to cry?" Her answer? "Cry." I'm pretty sure she was joking, but I found no humor in it. I stood up and sulked to my bedroom.

That's when I heard my seven-year-old's cheerful voice. Aha! Regyn is usually a little more desperate for attention. Perfect. I called to her and she came in my bedroom. I shut the door and she asked what was going on. "We're just going to spend some time together," I said cheerfully. "OK." Awkward silence. "What are we going to do?" I had no good ideas. I decided to ask her about her day. She proceeded to tell me about all her problems at school and how she didn't like her teacher because she told the class to stay in their seats and how someone had tattled on her twice at school the day before so she had cried. . . and on and on. Pretty soon, I was wishing I hadn't asked. I forgot how dramatic she is. I tried showing empathy, even though I felt more for the teacher than my daughter. Finally, tiring of the conversation herself, she asked if she could call a friend. I was now zero for two.

Okay, so maybe I would have more luck with the boys. Where was my 10-year-old? Miraculously, this social child was home without any friends over. I found him in his bedroom reading a book (not something normal for him--I should have taken a picture:). Determined to talk with him about something other than the usual--sports--I ventured to find a topic. Finally, in desperation, I started inspecting his teeth and thus ensued a conversation on how many baby teeth he still had as opposed to permanent teeth. Teeth. That's all I could come up with. Could I be any more lame? I thought to myself. I'm totally blowing this "quality kid time."

I decided to give up and start on dinner. After slaving away for an hour on what I just have to say was an amazing dinner (turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, etc.) with no help from any of my children, even though I solicited it many times, we sat down to dinner. At this point, I was giving myself a little internal pep talk. I was frustrated that my children hadn't helped with dinner. I was deflated that none of them really cared to spend time with me, and I was doing my best not to pout.

To no avail. Chaos broke out. My children started begging and whining when I told them they couldn't have a track meet in the house and race throughout our tiny basement living space, and I totally gave in to every temptation to have a pity party. "I need a break," I said as I grabbed my keys. I walked out, only to return for my phone. I walked out once more, only to return for my purse. If I was going to feel sorry for myself, it was going to be over ice cream. "Call me when you are all ready to appreciate me a little more and I will come back," I jabbed before I left. I mean, if I was going to throw a guilt trip, I had to make it good.

After driving around for a while while the milkshake I didn't even really want melted in the cup-holder next to me, the phone finally rang and Regyn told me they were ready. Was I ready to return? That was the question. I took a deep breath and walked into the house (I was already in the driveway by the time they decided they wanted me back). Colorful love notes hung from the ceiling above the snack bar. My children were ready for bed and ready for me to be impressed. I wasn't really in the mood to shower them with praise over their masterpieces, but after reading the first one, I couldn't help but smile. Darn it. I loved these kids and their sweet notes were more than even my pouty self could ignore. Here is what they said.

My 10-year-old:
"To Mom. You are not good. You are not great. You are the greatest though."

My seven-year-old (with original spelling):
"To Mom. I can't weit tell you come home becase I am gowing to say sorry."

And finally, my five-year-old:
"To Mom. I love you more than never-ending."

I love that! How could I possibly resist being loved more than never-ending? My pity party was definitely over.

Love notes hanging from the ceiling

That's when I went into my bedroom and found a notebook on my bed. It was my 12-year-old daughter's. Here's what was written inside:

"In a person's life, the place that a mother holds can never ever be taken over by anyone else. She is always there to love them, care for them, and even make sacrifices for them. In fact, there is hardly any person in this world who would be willing to do what you do. I love you, Mom. I am so sorry I was rude to you!"

I couldn't help it. My selfish, pouty heart was so full of gratitude for each child and their goodness. I picked up the notebook and wrote back, and this is what I said:

"Dear Hallee,
In a mother's life the place her daughter holds can never be taken over by someone else (I stole that line from someone very smart:). A daughter--especially the oldest one--is someone very special, someone who reminds you how great it is to be a mother, someone who is not just a daughter but a friend, someone who makes you feel like you're okay, even when you have a bad day. You are so dear to me, my sweet Hallee. I'm so grateful for you and so proud of you. You are just . . . amazing! You simply rock! Maybe that's why I want to spend time with you so badly. Anyway, thanks for the note. I forgive you and I love you--tons!
Mom"

So, not a perfect day for sure, but a worthwhile one. And maybe the time I spent with my children wasn't what I had in mind, but at least we got the chance to express our love to each other.

I have decided, though, that next time I want to spend "quality time" with my children, I'll have a plan!

Little Surprises

I remember before I got married someone told me there would be lots of little surprises--things I would learn about my husband and about marriage that I couldn't possible imagine or know beforehand. Flashes of picking up dirty socks or trying to sleep through bear-like snoring and other such images immediately flashed through my mind. My mother wisely told me not to worry, that most of the surprises were good ones. And she was right.

I've found motherhood to have just as many--or more--such surprises. I think my favorite is the hilarious things my children say. At times when I least expect it, one of them will say something incredibly clever or just plain funny.

For instance . . .

The other night during our dinner ritual, I drew out this question and read it to my children and husband: What country would you like to visit and why?

My five-year-old immediately spoke up. "Salt Lake City! Because we get to go on an airplane." (We had just recently dropped someone off at the airport there).

I thought that was pretty funny, but then my six-year-old said, "St. George!" I thought to myself, Apparently I need to explain what it means to go to another country. So I did. And that's when my 10-year-old said, "Oh yea. Well, I know which country I want to go to--Greenbay, Wisconsin!"

So, I realize my children obviously aren't geography buffs, but I love it! Where else can you go to find such great laughs?

Just a couple of days ago, my children came home with their report cards. One by one they filed in from school with shouts of jubilation at their wonderful grades. That is, until my first grader came marching in. "I hate first grade!" she complained. "I just want to go to sixth grade."

Well, this made very little sense to me, so I inquired as to why as I skimmed over her grades. Right as I noticed she had one disturbing grade, she answered, "Because they give perfect report cards in sixth grade. In first grade, they don't!" Apparently, she had seen her older sister's perfect grades and thought it came with simply being in sixth grade. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help myself. "Regyn," I said, "Your sister has earned those grades. They don't magically come to all sixth graders." Well, this did nothing to brighten her mood. To think her bad grade was actually her fault, instead of her teacher's.

Just a few days later, we were sitting in front of this same child's first grade teacher for SEP conferences. Everything was going well until this teacher told Regyn to read to us something she had written. She explained that she would give her students a prompt each week, and then they would have a certain amount of time to write. She praised my daughter for writing so much. That's when she began reading. Apparently the prompt was something like, "My favorite thing I got for Christmas was . . ." because that's what the paper was about. It was all going fine until she started mentioning things like a trip to Mexico, an I-phone, and other such elaborate gifts that she simply hadn't received. "Wait!" I interrupted. "Did you say Regyn wrote this paper?" The teacher shook her head affirmatively. "Well, that is very interesting," I said, "because most of the things she mentioned are fabricated!" The poor teacher didn't quite know what to say, so she responded positively by saying, "Well, it looks like Regyn is going to be a great fictional writer." I looked at my darling daughter, hoping for an explanation, and all she could come up with is, "Well, so-and-so went to Mexico and so-and-so got an I-phone." Where have I gone wrong? I thought to myself. I think my child is a habitual liar. That's when her teacher asked us to come up with goals for the new term, and I looked at Regyn and said, "How about telling the truth?" She readily agreed. I guess we'll see what next term brings!

Later, I was preparing to sit down and snuggle with my five-year-old to watch a little movie. He came to me and asked me what I wanted to watch. Since my only motivation was to spend time with him, I told him I didn't care about the movie, that he could choose. "No, you can choose this time, Mom," he said. "I always choose."

"Okay," I agreed, and I pointed to a movie.

"Fine. I'll choose," he immediately said. Apparently, he didn't like my choice. It made me smile clear to my toes. I just love such simple, happy moments.